After restarting three times, I finally managed to officially start my non-cursing month. Which has ended today, the 12th of October. It’s the day before my birthday, which I see as a sign! (Don’t know what kind of sign, but I’ll think about that later ;)) The whole hypothesis behind this goal was that at the end of the month, my speech would’ve been really improved, decent and just better. I don’t know right now if that’s true, that’s why I’ll observe myself for the week and then post again about my (hopefully) improved speech.

The first days, or well let’s just say the first week I hated this goal. I hated it with all my heart; I had to look out so carefully about what I was saying, just thinking about every single word… I couldn’t just blurt something out anything that came into my mind. And that’s very exhausting, because it’s so much easier for a person to learn to talk in a certain way, then to unlearn it. Or well, it’s not that somebody learned me to curse, but it was something I was used to do. But in the end it became easier and easier, which meand also less exhausting. And luckily I still had the weekends, and if I just stayed home, I would automatically not curse.
For some reason it isn’t hard to nót curse in front of my family, I don’t have to think about my speech at all, it just comes out naturally. Maybe it’s because the subjects of the conversations I talk about with my family are different that the ones I have with my friends. Or now I think about it, there isn’t that much of a difference in subject, hmm then how can it be…? Haha, I guess that’s also a thing for me to observe in this week.
I’m a very, very unpatient girl, like if something weird happens to the computer (like when it doens’t react fast enough), I’d immediately stress and push some buttons and click around and well I just like to do stuff fast. I really don’t like slowcoaches, they can make me so irritated! In the past I could control my patience less than I can now. But now I still flee to curse-words if things don’t happen fast enough for me. I guess that was another side of the goal; to see if I can still control my patience if I don’t have my curse-words. And I must say that I can (or perhaps this was just an uneventful month). I think I’ve only become better in controling my patience these past few years and I’ve past the final ‘test’, which was this month. (And yes, I’ve been my own judge :P)
Well, that was that. Glad I’m finally finished with this goal. But I’m still hoping I won’t turn back to my previous speech, maybe a little, but I just want my speech to be more decent in general!

image: Stefan Valent

xx Michelle

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Determined to continue with my goals, I decided to go with #44 Don’t curse for a month.  Cursing is something that everyone does once in a while, especially when you’re irritated or angry. Because this monday the new school year started, I decided to begin it fresh. Or well, I didn’t exactly start monday, because that was the introduction day. And also not Tuesday, because that was when the lessons started again and I could feel that I would need my curse words. So Wednesday it was. But nót cursing seems a lot harder than I would’ve ever imagined! Especially in the morning, when you also have gym class (yuk). I really did begin the day good; I though about every word I said  and replacements of the curse words. But apparently that wasn’t enough. Because the class hadn’t even started for ten minutes and there I was: ‘What the F*ck!’ ‘Shit! I cursed!’ Oops.. two times in a row, not exactly like I had it planned. But, as optimistic as ever, I decided it was just the first day and I could just begin again the day after. And that didn’t went well either. ‘But there’s always tomorrow!’ And so I started my non-cursing month again today. Sadly enough I realized when I got up and looked at the alarm clock that I was running late. So without thinking about it I opened my big mouth.
I’ve really surprised myself these 3 days; I never knew I cursed this much, that it would even be so hard for me to stop it!
Tomorrow I’ll start again with good will, it’s weekend so I won’t have much to complain about ;). And I’m staying home with my parents, who can keep an eye on me, haha. (Like I ever curse near them! That’s why I didn’t do this goal while I was on vacation. It would be way to easy 🙂 )

xx Mich